Ten O'Clock Scholar - How to reduce those power struggles over learning

     Reduce those power struggles over learning!

               Here are some suggestions for taking the wind out of an argument’s sail. Talk with children, not to them. Win cooperation – recognize a behavior’s purpose; feel NO rancor; discuss.

                Use sentences like:  

                                                                    

•“How do _?”                                                      •“I wonder why _?”

•“You may be right.”                                            •“What if _?”

•“We’ll think about it and see what happens.”        •“What else could _?”

•“Do you have any ideas _?”                                •“What can _?”

•“I would appreciate it if you would _.”

•“I don’t agree with you, but you have the right to think so, if you wish.”

               We can improve the way we think about things with a few simple suggestions. We can replace negative habits with positive ones, as suggested below. 

REPLACE:

• Resentment & Discontent with GRATITUDE
• Criticisms with COMPLIMENTS
• Anger with HUMOR, PATIENCE, WISDOM
• Selfishness with SERVICE
• Ridicule with RESPECT
• Error with REPENTANCE
• Cruelty with CHARITY
• Contention with PEACE
• Pride with HUMILITY
• Rudeness with COURTESY
• Worry with FAITH

     “Life is not the survival of the fittest, but the fitting of as many as possible for survival.”                                                                                                 ~ Thomas H. Huxley, ad-libbed.

Dr. Randy S. Chatelain, Chair of the Human Relations Department at Weber State University, developed the astute

Oppositional vs. Opportunity Systems:

Which kind of relationships do you develop? It is possible to discipline without anger, with love and logic. Better late than never.

               The Godfrey Method insists that parents de-fuse the control games by keeping the learning fun and stopping when young children are ready to take a break. Another way is to change your viewpoint of what it means to be the parent, the boss, the authority.

               Without the preventatives shown in this chapter, the cracks in your child may be dyslexia, speech problems, resource remediation classes, being teased, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, low self-esteem, insecurity, childhood depression, low self-confidence, lack of imagination, lower IQ, slower learning capacity, poor decision-making skills, lack of social skills, math incompetency, low-paying jobs, and/or caught in the downward educational trend. They all may be preventable or curable. You, mom and dad, are the key. It’s not rocket surgery!

http://thegodfreymethod.com

Top Ten Myths of Reading 7

Myth 7. Make the child perform.

Truth: Instead, have no control issues or power struggles. Use no anger or shame. Do not pressure the child to perform. Stay calm. Using force, punishment, or criticism is damaging. When the child wants to quit partway through the cards, then STOP. Pick it up later. Keep it fun.

Does this sound familiar? How many times as parents have we tried to help our kids with their homework or piano practice, only to have the whole thing end up in a fight? Your child screams, “That’s not the way my teacher did it!” You get frustrated when he won’t listen. Eventually one (or both) of you goes to your room and slams the door.

The Godfrey Method insists that you de-fuse this scenario before it starts. One of the cardinal rules is to have no control issues or power struggles. Never force the child to respond or perform. Learning at home should be fun and joyous. 

"But how?" you say. I make bonding-time fun and joyous while learning. At first, I present the phonics picture-letter cards from "A Funny Boy Was Prince River" to my child, saying the sound and then the accompanying word. I go through as many letters as my child wants. If s/he loses interest, we stop and pick it up again later.

After a few times of me saying the sounds and words, my child will start to say them after me or with me. A few times after that, my child will say them first before I do. It's really marvelous to see him/her light up with understanding!

Once a few letter-sounds are well known, I form small 3-letter words and show my child how to sound them out. I have whole lists of these words in the HELPS from previous blogs.

We sound out each letter separately, left to right. Next we say each letter-sound slowly while blending it into the next one (like a piano slur from one note to the next). Then we "say it fast!" The children love this, and after hearing me say the sounds slowly, in sequence, without a break or breath between, they can say it fast (recognize the word) all by themselves. They feel so smart!

Once my children can sound-out several small words, they are ready to move on to the phonics speling rules, which help them learn alternate sounds and be able to decode any new word properly. We do NOT guess by context. No, no, no.

Eighty percent of words follow these rules. The rest are Platypus words, and children find this concept easy to understand. Just have fun with it. Remember, Keep It Simple for Success (KISS your child).

http://thegodfreymethod.com