An Apple a Day - Helping your child learn through field trips

Homeschool Field Trips – Helping your child learn hands-on:

               We use every situation as a learning situation or field trip. When my husband goes on out-of-state fishing trips, he takes our son with him and turns it into a learning experience. He has my son write down all the wildlife he sees, the geography of their travels, the states through which they pass, the license plates of other vehicles – to see how many other states they can find, places and cities of interest, and they even check out library books about the flora and fauna of the destination area. They also talk about the types of fish they catch.

               Each state has a website of interesting things to do, which can be used as hands-on educational experiences. There are cultural events, nature reserves, amusement parks, museums, libraries, symphonies, community playhouses, national parks, recreational facilities, etc. Wise parents will make use of these resources for interesting field trips, while getting to know their own state better.

               In each one of my volumes of It's Not Rocket Surgery! by Shannah B Godfrey on Amazon.com, I put ideas for things to do in Missouri at the end of each subject. There are similar types of activities for each state. Check them out! 

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An Apple a Day - The flexibility of homeschool

               I love homeschooling for its flexibility! My youngest son has bipolar sleep issues. His circadian sleep cycle changes with his bipolar mood cycles. It is almost impossible for him to wake up early. Public school mornings were a nightmare for him. Now with homeschooling, we have the flexibility to have school any time of the day or night.

               My son sleeps in as long as he needs, then does his school work with his father. One of his classes he does at bedtime, because that’s when he prefers to read the lesson – in bed. Homeschooling has helped him thrive. The flexibility has eliminated the early morning battles. A sleep-deprived person is less reasonable and less able of self-control. Our family life is much more pleasant now.

               Be flexible. Homeschool does not need to be done on the same schedule as public or private school. As my quotes from Hartman Rector, Jr., show, it also does not need to be 6 hours a day, every day. For best practices, find the rhythm that works for you. Then stick with it.

“There’s no question in my mind that about 14 minutes with mother is equal to all day in the public school. That’s what they determined when William Bennett was director of the Department of Education under President Reagan. He tried to determine how much time it would take with private tutoring for a child who had been injured and couldn’t attend school. All it takes is 1 ½ hours a week to keep a child up with his class. That’s about 20 minutes per day!

“[Mother burn-out] happens because they try to put on a public school in their home. They even use public school materials. That doesn’t work. You’ve got to adapt to what will work. I’m convinced that Glenn Kimber’s gone a long way down the road to getting past this burnout problem. He suggests teaching three days a week, four hours a day, and no homework. Homework was devised by Dewey to make kids hate school. He didn’t want students to love learning.

“Don’t teach on Monday. You need Monday to get over Sunday. That’s when you do your housework, learn about Tide in, dirt out and if you put yeast in, bread rises. Then when you go on [your own] you’re not helpless… and the kids who came out knowing how to cook and mend were better qualified to survive well [as adults].

“The afternoon is open for students to play in the band or sports with local high school, if they want to. Friday is field day; you’ve got to know how the fire department and the police department work. I’m convinced this is a great system.” ~ Hartman Rector, Jr.

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An Apple a Day - How to get your children to read more

One more idea for motivating your children to read more: TV Bucks

One thing my father did with my siblings and me, that I have used with my children, is TV Bucks. To encourage us to read more and watch TV less, my father insisted that we read an hour for each hour of TV watched. We had to do the reading first – we could not go into “debt” nor make up the reading later. No reading, no TV.

               My father kept track of our reading hours in a notebook. I expanded on his idea by creating TV Bucks, which are the shape and size of Monopoly money, have the letters “TV” on the front center, and are laminated. Whenever my children read for an hour, they get a TV Buck. They can spend them on TV shows. TV Bucks have greatly increased reading time and decreased TV time. They are a great visual to keep track of reading time.

It's not rocket surgery! - but much more important than that. You, mom and dad, are the key.


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An Apple a Day - One way to negotiate with your child

Poker Chips – 

               One of the tools I use for negotiation is plastic, red poker chips. One of my sons has defiance disorder (but this works for all children). He has very little self-control over his anger and will say and do inappropriate things when his expectations are not met in his way. Poker chips have helped him curb his outbursts and control his reactions.

               We have a jar that starts off empty each day. He gets 2 poker chips put in his jar just for waking up each day. He is a person of value, regardless of his behavior, so he starts fresh with 2 chips. Throughout the day, he can earn a chip for each of his school subjects that he completes. He has 5 core subjects, so he can earn 5 more chips for 7 total.

He uses these chips to pay for privileges, which cost 2 chips each, such as playing an hour of video games, watching an hour of TV, playing on the computer for an hour, or using the cell phone for an hour. He can only “afford” 3 of the activities, so he has to choose his priorities.

Yes, there is a chip left over. It is insurance because if he swears at mom or dad in a fit of rage, he loses a chip. If he refuses to do his work or screams at us, he loses a chip. If he loses too many chips, he can no longer afford as many privileges. We try to pick our battles and not have a power struggle over every argument. We try to give him the benefit of the doubt, not take away all his chips (it would be easy to do, some days), and not back him into a corner, emotionally.

But we have noticed that with this motivation – to have to earn his privileges – he has more self-control and can calm himself down and respond better. Negotiation with poker chips helps him overcome his rage and feel better about himself. He also appreciates his blessings more if he has to earn them.

And it helps him understand the Law of the Harvest, that we reap what we sow. It helps us battle his feelings of entitlement, that he should always get his way no matter what. Control issues and entitlement are a common problem for bipolar children, children of rage (defiance disorder), and some Aspergers/autistic children.

The poker chips help us remove our own frustration and anger from the equation, too. Our son can see, by the chips in his jar, what he has earned. We can keep our emotions out of it. It is a visual point system that works for us.

http://thegodfreymethod.com

An Apple a Day - Using negotiation to motivate children

How do we motivate defiant children without nagging, yelling, and screaming? Last time we discussed using a kitchen timer as a challenge. Here is another idea:

Negotiate – 

Sometimes I motivate my children with negotiation. They need to earn their privileges, not just be handed everything. Children’s chores and studying need to be done before using electronics, TV, or playing. They need to be respectful to us parents, too. They need to learn gratitude for the treats, privileges, and activities they receive, too.

               There are certain chores that my children do just because they are part of the family and need to contribute to its success, to keep it functioning properly, and to appreciate their bed and food and care. For us, these include cleaning their rooms, doing dishes, cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming, helping with laundry, etc.

               There are other chores that my children can do to earn money, to learn the value of work. For us, these include mowing the grass, washing windows, Spring cleaning chores, shoveling the snow, etc.

               I have a son who will only cooperate at times if he gets something extra from it. So I negotiate for extra TV or game time if he finishes writing his essay in a timely manner. He wants to be paid a privilege for every little requirement, but I tell him that some things are not negotiable, that he needs to do them just because, and shouldn’t need to be paid. We compromise on some things and not on others. If he is being especially defiant, I might give him an extra incentive to go do simple things.

               People say that we shouldn’t bribe children to do what’s right. Well, negotiation is not a bribe. A bribe is paying someone to do something illegal or immoral. However, we all respond to a reward system. Getting a paycheck is a reward for going to work. Rewarding children is not a bribe.

However, negotiation is not meant to spoil a child, give him or her something harmful – like a lot of candy – just because of a tantrum, or anything and everything s/he wants. That is not what a reward system or negotiation is for. In fact, if my child throws a tantrum, he or she definitely does NOT get his or her way. Sometimes a parent just has to say, “NO!” and stick to it. Be wise. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Choose your battles wisely, but don't always concede.  Be consistent, whatever you do.

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An Apple a Day - How a kitchen timer can improve family life

Best practices for the pursuit of excellence - ideas for the kitchen timer in family motivation:

If you or your child is having a hard time getting motivated to do school work or chores, set the kitchen timer for 15 minutes and have a challenge to see how much you can accomplish before the timer bell dings. 

It’s great fun to beat the timer and work as fast as possible for a sprint of effort. Now that you’re into the activity, you can continue if you want, or take a short break then reset the timer and try again.

I also like to use a portable kitchen timer (you know the white ones with the dial that turns in a circle, or whatever timer you want) to have “five-minute time” with my children at bedtime. 

Each child has a different night of the week that is just his or hers. 

I sit on my child’s bed and give him or her my undivided attention for 5 full minutes. 

My child can say anything s/he wants with no repercussions. 

I try to keep quiet and let the child lead the conversation.

It’s amazing what 5 minutes of special time does for our parent-child bond, as well as my child’s self-esteem! 

If the conversation is going well, we can go past the 5 minutes, if desired. 

This is a life-saver for a family, making sure each child gets special attention. 

Even as an exhausted mother, I could muster up 5 minutes a night to create a special moment one-on-one.

It really works!

http://thegodfreymethod.com

An Apple a Day - How to raise secure and intelligent children

How to raise secure and intelligent children - Putting baby first

Studies by Jean Piaget and Erik Erikson have shown that the early developmental stages of children are crucial to how the brain is wired, and that the environment provided by parents and caregivers affects their sense of security, how they view the world, and their intellectual development.

               As a biological parent, foster parent, and adoptive parent, I have seen first-hand how true this is. The very first building block to a healthy child, intellectually, socially, and emotionally is for baby to feel that his or her needs are being met. 

This is why the currently popular doctrine of “self-soothing” is so damaging and wrong. I have found that children who are held often are much more secure and independent as they get older than children who are not. You cannot spoil a child with too much holding. That is nonsense. Nothing seems to make up for damage done in the first two years.

               Even as a working mother, my main priority when I got home was to nurse and hold my babies. The house could wait. All other activities could wait. Even though I had excellent childcare from a provider who parented similar to me, my main goal was to make sure my babies felt loved and secure. Next came helping the older children with homework and attending their activities, but taking the babies with me wherever possible.

               It is also wrong to make a hungry baby wait to be fed. The doctrine of forcing a child to wait four hours to be fed is wrong. It creates children who do not trust and may later self-soothe with food. What about overweight babies, you ask? This is much more a risk with bottle-fed babies than breast-fed babies. A nursing baby should eat every 1.5 to 2 hours, as desired. A chubby, breast-fed baby is healthy with brown fat, which goes away as the child learns to walk and run around.

               I am not talking about over-feeding a baby, just common sense. Use some wisdom. I also do not agree with putting baby to bed with a bottle. Never do that. But a forced schedule, where baby feels hungry a lot, is pure evil. Hunger is a real pain to a child. Abuse and neglect rewire a child’s brain.

               Even a bottle-fed baby should be held while being fed. This is key to a child’s emotional development and self-esteem. Do not prop the bottle up and walk away. No one was busier than me with a large family, so no excuses. Take the time. Make the time.

As far as bottle-fed babies getting too fat, use a pacifier between feedings to appease a baby’s natural need to suck. Pacifiers are easier to throw away later (about 2 years) than a thumb. Formula digests slower than breast-milk, so maybe put 3 hours between feedings, but never 4 hours. If the child is truly hungry, feed him or her on demand. Be wise. There is a balance between meeting the child’s needs and over-feeding. If the baby’s emotional needs are being met, he or she will have less need for comfort from a bottle when not truly hungry.

http://thegodfreymethod.com