3 important things every baby needs and 11 great parenting tips

Hello, there! Let's discuss the 3 most important things every infant or child needs.

As quoted in my previous blog, Professor David J. Armor from George Mason University writes,

“Children’s intelligence levels can change in response to some types of environmental influences… In other words, one arrives in the world not with a fixed IQ but with intelligence that can be damaged or enhanced, primarily by one’s parents and mainly during the pre-school years.”

(Taking time with your child to joyfully do The Godfrey Method gives him/her the two most crucial things that all kids need: parent time and reading skills. Not only that, but quality parent time and excellent reading skills.)      

According to Professor Armor, the most important factors that influence intelligence are the parenting behaviors of breast-feeding, cognitive stimulation, and emotional support.

1. Breast-feeding studies have long proven that it raises intelligence by several points and is the best start for a child, if possible. If medically impossible, then babies should always be held while being bottle-fed, even after they are old enough to hold the bottle themselves (and it should never be propped in their mouths). Proper nutrition is also important throughout a young child’s brain development.
2. Cognitive stimulation includes providing a learning environment at home with time for fun instruction, time for interaction and attention, and money spent on educational outings, reading materials, toys, and other educational materials. Such cognitive stimulation activities have a significant correlation to a child’s test scores and intelligence.
3. Emotional support is the other part of important parenting behaviors that increase a child’s intelligence. Children with emotional support at home have significantly higher test scores, on average.

        That leads Armor to conclude that the best way to maximize children's intelligence is through their parents and that the appropriate tools include strengthening parents and families and mitigating the adverse ‘risk factors’. (Note: Missouri’s “Parents as Teachers” program does a good job of this.)

        For ideas and creativity to flourish, there must be a safe place for a child to feel accepted, admired, and adored. Children need a psychologically and emotionally safe environment to grow into their best selves, to feel secure about sharing their thoughts and feelings.

        What are some elements of a psychologically-safe environment, a safe haven from the world? Sometimes children can be frustrating, seem hyper-active, and/or be prone to frustrating perfectionism.

Here are 11 tips for keeping perspective to help you in your journey:

1. Keep the negatives to yourself. Don’t 'call it like it is,' in our opinion. Such “honesty” may be based on our perception, not the facts. Other people may see our child or situation in a better light. Give child the benefit of the doubt.
2. Be patient. Don’t set a child's character in stone with labeling. Growth and change is life-long and constant. When it comes to a child's behavior, nothing is permanent. It is not the end of the world. Change is slow, and sometimes children don't "get it" until they move out on their own. So relax.
3. Stay positive. Don’t criticize or label the child. Such name-calling negativity is demeaning, saps hope, de-motivates people, and sets up a self-fulfilling prophecy in the wrong direction. It rarely changes someone for the better, if ever.
4. There’s always hope. Don’t act hopeless and disappointed. Often people try all sorts of things to manipulate others into doing what they want. But these often backfire and produce the opposite results. Don’t act like it’s the end of the world when children make mistakes. We aren’t perfect, either.
5. Let go of the shame game. Don’t tell a child that she is embarrassing herself. Maybe the parent is the embarrassed one, and maybe that’s because of a biased viewpoint. Give her credit for making the effort and taking the risk to try.
6. Appreciate the little things. Don’t treat a child like his efforts were a waste of everyone’s time. Notice what’s good and right in a situation instead of what is perceived to be wrong. Accentuate the positive. No one will ever be perfect, and something good can be found in most situations.
7. Let go of false pride.     “It is always better to be kind than right.” ~ Anna Maria Isaacson Whiting, as quoted by Douglas Shumway
8. Check your anger. Don’t make mountains out of mole-hills.     “Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.” ~ Lawrence Douglas Wilder
9. Teach in a positive way. Parents can mistakenly focus on negative things with their children. It’s natural to want to correct their wrongs, but this tends to be de-motivating, not inspiring, to children. And then parents wonder why they’re not getting results.
10. Repetition. Parenting takes calm repetition, repetition, repetition! Patience!
11. The bottom line: It doesn't matter how a child makes you feel; it only matters how you make the child feel. You’re the adult.

Easier said than done, but soooo worth it! (My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak.)

These are amazing tips. I must admit that it has taken me longer- on some of these- to become good habits than I hoped. Alas, human change is slow. But always keep trying!

                Without these preventatives, the cracks in your child may be attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), children of rage, low self-esteem, insecurity, childhood depression, low self-confidence, lack of imagination, lower IQ, slower learning capacity, poor decision-making skills, lack of social skills, false pride, and/or lack of compassion/empathy for others. They all may be preventable or curable. You, mom and dad, are the key. It’s not rocket surgery!

http://thegodfreymethod.com/blog/head-start-3-important-things-every-baby-needs-and-11-great-parenting-tips

8 ways to develop your baby's mind

What 8 things help develop optimum intelligence in your baby?

 

(What's next in our discussion of a good foundation from the last two weeks?http://thegodfreymethod.com/blog/catching-humpty-dumpty-good-foundation) 

• Breastfeeding,
• Holding your baby often,
• Reading to baby often,
• Limiting baby’s exposure to TV,
• Limiting radio, and
• Constant noise,
• Giving baby some quiet time.
• It is also important for baby’s eye development to have some dark time at night without a night light.

But first, the feeding:

 

Breast-feeding and Nutrition

 

.      Hurrah for breast feeding! September is Breast Feeding Month, which honors this amazing phenomenon. My mother breastfed all eight of her children. I have 14 children including three step- and 4 adopted- children. I was able to breastfeed all seven of my natural children plus my son adopted at birth. The last three were breastfed while I was a working mom and had to pump breast milk during breaks. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

 

    If mothers want to raise smart children, then they should from the very beginning with breastfeeding. Fathers should support the mothers in this very important part of optimizing their child’s mind.

 

The website http://www.breastfeeding.com/all_about/all_about_iq.html says, “...there is a demonstrated direct relation between a child's intelligence and cognitive ability and how long that child was breastfed.  Some studies show an increase in intelligence for each additional month the child was breastfed.

 

     Could you give your child a more important gift than a better brain and healthier body?  The findings are hardly surprising when we consider that the brain is only 1/3 formed at birth, and that breast milk has been [designed] to complete building the brain during the first two years of life.”

 

     Even after the differences in socioeconomic status were accounted for or eliminated in these studies, breastfed children still clearly come out ahead. This even holds true for preemies. On http://www.intelligencetest.com/articles/article10.htm it reads, “In fact, one study showed that premature infants who were breastfed had significantly higher IQs than formula fed babies, and when babies were fed a combination of breast milk and formula, their cognitive scores were directly related to the amount of mother's milk they received.

 

     Breast milk contains the ideal ratio of fats, amino acids and other nutrients that the baby needs for brain and nervous system development. These ingredients provide the ideal basis for the ‘hard-wiring’ component of a person's intelligence.”

 

     Also, http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-breastfeeding-benefits-you-and-your-baby_8910.bc writes, “Several studies have found a possible connection between breastfeeding and higher IQs. Babies breastfed for six months or more seem to have the most advantage. Experts say that the emotional bonding that takes place during breastfeeding probably contributes to some of the increase, but that the fatty acids [DHA and also Taurine - amino acid] in breast milk may play the biggest role in a baby's brain development.”

 

     Infant formulas are now trying to add Taurine and DHA, but they don’t compare to fresh ingredients in breast milk (I guess they’re better than nothing- if bottle feeding is necessary). I liked to breast-feed for at least one year when I was an at-home mom, but could only pump for six months at work as a working mom. Then my milk dwindled. Your experience might be better. At least I was able to give my last three babies 6 months worth of the best nutrition, as well as nurse them when I arrived home.

 

     Did you know that the thyroid of bottle-fed babies can be up to 20 times smaller than that of breast-fed babies? A smaller thyroid severely decreases the immune system. And if you must bottle-feed your baby, hold her while feeding. Resist the temptation to prop the bottle with a blanket or let her hold it herself. Whatever you need to get done is not as important as holding your baby. Such bonding develops her mental, emotional, and social growth to their fullest.

 

     What are the other benefits for baby and mother from breastfeeding? The site lists several unexpected pluses:

 

     “The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months. And scientific studies have shown that breastfeeding is good for your [mom’s] health, too.

 

• Breastfeeding protects your baby from gastrointestinal trouble, respiratory problems, and ear infections.

• Breastfeeding can protect your baby from developing allergies.

• Breastfeeding may boost your child's intelligence.

• Breastfeeding may protect your baby against obesity later in life.

• Breastfeeding may protect your baby from childhood leukemia.

• Breastfeeding may protect your baby from developing type-1 diabetes.

• Breastfeeding may protect preemies from infections and high blood pressure later in life.

• Breastfeeding may lower your baby's risk of SIDS.

• Breastfeeding helps you [mom] lose weight. 

• Breastfeeding can lower your stress levels and reduce postpartum bleeding.

• Breastfeeding may reduce your risk of some types of cancer.

• Breastfeeding may protect you against osteoporosis later in life."

       Wow. I am so grateful that my mother breastfed all her children and gave such a good example, which was learned and passed on to the next two generations, so far. For help with breastfeeding issues and questions, the La Leche League USA is the best source. All the chapters and contacts can be found at this website: http://www.lllusa.org

 

The LLL philosophy can be found on the international site: http://www.llli.org/ which quotes,

 

“The ideals and principles of mothering, which are the foundation of LLLI beliefs, are further developed in THE WOMANLY ART OF BREASTFEEDING, the most comprehensive handbook on breastfeeding and parenting ever published. It has provided needed answers to three generations of nursing mothers on every aspect of breastfeeding. (From LLLI publication No. 300-17, "La Leche League Purpose and Philosophy.")

       It's the Law of Eventuality: thousands and thousands of times, nothing, then wham! It gets you. Too often we hope the exceptions are the rule, but usually they're not. Nutrition is a very important building block to utilize, even when the adverse affects of some foods are not obvious until it's too late.

 

To protect your child against the time-bomb of bad nutrition, follow these guidelines:

 

·         No caffeine or caffeinated soda pops,

·         No fake sugars, except stevia extract,

·         No diet soda pops,

·         Limited sweets,

·         Limited fast foods,

·         Plenty of protein,

·         Fresh fruits and veggies,

·         Vitamin and mineral supplements,

·         Whole grains,

·         Dairy foods, and

·         Plenty of water, but not excessive.

            Unless your child is specifically allergic to lactose in dairy or gluten in wheat, don't worry about these foods. Those are rare allergies, and the benefits of nutrition from these foods far outweigh the minimal risks. You can have too little water and you can have too much water. Be reasonable.

             Good nutrition is important for infants and children. Enough protein in the first 18 months is critical. Children who don’t get enough protein for brain development in the first 18 months of life are unable to make up for it later. The damage is permanent. However, children who get enough protein in the first 18 months have developed enough that their brains can recover if they suffer from malnutrition and protein deficiency later.

             When children transition from breast milk (or formula) to solid food, good nutrition means eating a varied and well-balanced selection of the four food groups (proteins, grains, fruits and veggies, and dairy) in as near their natural state as able. The less processed, the better. Have fresh fruit and veggies in the house. Adding vitamin and mineral supplements are a good idea, but shouldn’t replace fresh fruits and veggies in your child’s diet.

            Keep sweets to a minimum. Everyone needs a treat now and then, but too much sugar lowers a person’s immune system. This includes limiting juice to once a day and serving water throughout.      Sodas should be saved for special occasions like birthday parties, and should never be caffeinated. Keep kids away from fake sugars and diet drinks, too. The only healthy sugar-replacement is extracted from the stevia leaf of South America.

             There are books and books written about nutrition, so I’m going to stop with these simple guidelines. Do your best. I know it’s a fight when the kids always want fast food and candy, but reserve those for certain occasions and not every day. You can do it!

              As I mentioned in the previous article, without these preventatives, the cracks in your child may be malnutrition and stunted growth, a weakened immune system, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), lower IQ, slower learning capacity, poor decision-making skills, and/or physical health issues. You are the key. It’s not rocket surgery!

http://thegodfreymethod.com/blog/good-foundation-8-ways-help-develop-your-babys-brain