Every child is a unique. What are the best ways for you to nurture your young child's gifts?
First and foremost, NEVER teach your baby to read by sight-words. This will only hinder his/her capabilities later in life. Use true phonics by direct instruction, starting with The Godfrey Method books like A Funny Boy Was Prince River.
Some children learn more quickly than others due to genetic and/or environmental factors, mixed with personal motivation. Whether a child is noticeably gifted or not, his parents can still enhance learning and give him an advantage in school.
Parents can put too much pressure on children to perform, and they can put too little pressure on them. The best way for a parent to enhance a child's learning is to provide a stimulating learning environment without forcing a young child to learn. One of the most important steps is to use flash cards (and other teaching methods) only while the child is interested. When the child is ready to stop, you stop. Never try to force the child to finish the whole alphabet in one sitting. Later, you can pick up where you left off.
Learning should be adult-guided wherever possible. Children learn best by answering (and asking) questions, and adults do best by guiding those leads along with the lesson plan. (Home learning is important, even in conjunction with other school attendance.) Yes, it's important to regularly introduce the basics of reading, writing, arithmetic, music, and art, by direct instruction, but if the child is interested in tigers, then study books about tigers to introduce language arts. Go to the zoo together.
Children's brains need some rest time. They need a break between school and homework. They need a break between school and tutoring. The goal is to have a child who loves learning and knowledge of all kinds. Too much pressure can backfire, causing a child to hate reading, math, or other areas. Do you want a child who can get good grades but can't actually think or analyze for himself?
To maintain a balance between encouragement and pressure, keep your motivators positive. Give rewards for achievements, not punishments for failures. If a child is not achieving to his ability, look for the root cause. Is there quiet time provided at home for homework? Do the parents read a lot, themselves? Be a good example. Turn off the TV and the games and have quiet time (we do this at 7:00 p.m. each evening).
Understand that different children learn differently (see Vol. 8 of my book, It's Not Rocket Surgery!). Try new approaches. Whatever the goal, we parents have to remain calm and not get into a power struggle with the child. This is extremely important. Don't make learning a chore that kills the love of learning. The goal is true knowledge, not just the ability to ace a test. Maintaining a balance between encouragement and pressure requires consistency and variety, simultaneously. No easy feat!
Regularly work on the basics and occasionally introduce a little variety for fun. Do family field trips. Point out science and art in nature around you. Teach fractions and chemistry with cooking projects. Use Cuisenaire rods (way cool) for hands-on fractions and math. But never, never call a child lazy nor link his core character to grades and homework. Trying to motivate children to excel without putting too much pressure on them can be a balancing act. But so worth it!
Sometimes success comes from practice, practice, practice, which children can hate. The old saying, ‘Practice makes perfect,’ is true in anything - math, music, art, sports, reading, etc. Some children are self-motivated to practice, especially the things they love, and some aren't. Find positive ways to motivate your child.
When your child doesn't want to practice the piano or do homework, set the kitchen timer for 15 - 30 minutes and have a race to see how much s/he can get done. Offer a reward for focusing on the task until the timer dings. Achieving little bits here and there add up and make a good compromise.
Another idea is to allow the child to do a pleasing activity after doing an unpleasant one. Something we have done is to have "TV bucks." We printed fake TV dollars and laminated them. For every hour that my child reads, I give her one TV buck. Then when she wants to watch TV or play a video game, she has to pay me a TV buck for each hour's worth. This keeps the reading time up and the TV/game time down, and links them together as a reward for good effort. (Or you can keep track of reading time vs. TV time in a notebook.)
And finally, when your child fails at something, put your arm around him or her and say only positive encouragement. True self-esteem comes from accomplishment, but "you don't have to win every battle to win the war". Being gifted comes from internal motivation, so watch and see what excites your child and develop those areas, without excessive force. There are many hands-on ideas to try in Vol. 1 of It's Not Rocket Surgery! for young children, so I won’t repeat them here.
Remember, being gifted is a combination of your child’s genetics, environment, and attitude. As the Serenity prayer says, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference!"
Yes, it is possible to raise bright, gifted, and genius children in a happy environment.
I must thank one of my readers, Mr. Pavel Ryzlovsky, for helping my research on Project Follow Through and the Whole Language mess (see Vol. 4, 5, & 6). In response to my articles on www.examiner.com he commented:
“Dear Ms. Godfrey,
“I must say that, over years, I have been reading all those prizes for the "Whole Language method of reading" in disbelief, and I patiently waited for the moment someone would start debunking the myth it was constructed upon.
“I can tell you that the method* you justifiably exposed has also been called to assist promotion of the same sort as reading in instrumental music teaching, and so it's been doing considerable damage there, too.
“Thank you, and I sincerely hope that your article makes the whole mountain of wrong teaching and poor reading shake. All the best to you.”
So I sent him Cathy Froggatt’s wonderful article, Whole Language at the Fork in the Road, http://www.nrrf.org/satire_WL_at_Fork.html. His second reply was:
“ Dear Ms. Godfrey,
“Thank you kindly for sharing this story with me, it's a really good satire. I would like to add that, with the whole population's silent participation, we have already accumulated several obstacles to good-quality language teaching. The other one I see that will need to be tackled is our adherence to student-oriented learning.
“I remember reading of a study which was conveyed to determine what sort of language-teaching system has been the most effective one. This study was unprecedented in its scope (and was done at an unprecedented cost of some $10mln) [even more]. It found that teacher-oriented education has been consistently bringing the best results, in every aspect several times better than the student-oriented type.
“The outcome of the study was disseminated among the teaching districts throughout USA; however, only one tenth of their total number embraced the teacher-oriented system; in other districts both parents and teachers refused it as "too demanding" (for children and teachers).
“The sooner we recognize what's wrong at the roots of our approaches the better. We have a long way to go to get out of the trouble we put ourselves into. Regards, Pavel.”
I researched and found the study to be PFT. Later, Pavel sent me the link to Don Potter’s website, http://www.donpotter.net/ed.htm, full of the wonderful writings of Dr. Samuel Blumenfeld and others. Thank you, Mr. Ryzlovsky. There are many of us crying that the emperor (whole language and sight-reading) has no clothes!
*And, thanks to Glynne Sutcliffe for leading me to Laurie Rogers’ website, http://betrayed-whyeducationisfailing.blogspot.com, which shows how the same faulty method has been used in “reform” math, causing even more damage. Also see her http://www.saferchild.org.
There is a marvelous resource called, “Are You Willing to Try Something at Home?” from Davis County, Utah, Spectrum Gifted Program. It gives parents ideas of things to do with their children that are fun learning activities. It is broken up into sections that help a child’s mind learn to solve problems:
Divergent thinking (all the possibilities)
Convergent thinking (selecting choices)
Planning
Evaluation
Decision making
Creativity
Forecasting
Communication
Convergent thinking (selecting choices)
Planning
Evaluation
Decision making
Creativity
Forecasting
Communication
The materials in this workbook give parents ways to help their children develop these skills to become good problem-solvers in life. I noticed that they’ve changed the name to Davis Enhanced Education Programs (DEEP, formerly Gifted and Talented Programs). http://www.davis.k12.ut.us/213810114132536240/site/default.asp. Contact them for a copy of “Are You Willing to Try Something at Home?” at 801-402-5140 (FAX 801-402-5333), or Sheri Sauvé, Supervisor, and Jayne Barkdull, Administrative Assistant, atjbarkdull@dsdmail.net
The district website offers two documents: Depth, Complexity, and Higher-Order Thinking and Strategies for Advanced Learners. Take a look!
One day the realization hit me that being gifted is just that – a gift. I didn’t personally do anything to get a great memory and logic, it was given to me by God and nature. It may have been genetically passed on to me from my parents, which is still a gift. I had nothing to be arrogant about because my giftedness wasn’t a personal accomplishment, just a gift.
What if my mother had taken antihistamines at the wrong time in pregnancy? What if oxygen had been deprived during my delivery? What if I had been dropped on my head as an infant? Then I wouldn’t be gifted, I would be handicapped.
What if my father hadn’t taught me to read by phonics at age three? Hadn’t nurtured my gift? So I learned gratitude for my gift, plus a realization that others had different types of gifts to be appreciated. I think it is important to help our children be humble about their giftedness, not arrogant. It is called a gift for a reason. Use it for good things in this world. One of the best ways to help children learn to use their gifts unselfishly is by serving their fellow man, helping make the world a better place in their corner.
As discussed in a previous blog article, being gifted is a combination of genetics (nature), environment (nurture), and attitude (the child's own viewpoint and choices). It’s not all genetic. I like to say, “Intelligence is one-part nature, one-part nurture, and one-part inner motivation.” There are many different kinds of gifts and talents, and each should be encouraged and celebrated. Not all are academic.
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